InsaneJournal

LotR LOLZ
Or, How Being A Slasher Girl Can Corrupt Enlighten Your Friends And Add Humour At Inappropriate Moments.

Like during the Battle of Helm's Deep, for example.

But the moment kind of asked for it. Really. Especially when you're the best friend of a slash-reading fangirl and her company tends to make you pretty silly.

So, setting the scene: I went to visit one of my best friends from uni last weekend, and - as is our custom - we enjoyed a bottle (or two) of red wine and watched The Lord of the Rings. When we reached the Battle at Helm's Deep, we had already emptied one bottle and were commenting more than watching the movie. As my friend put it, 'We're kind of sort of not really paying attention to the gravity of the situation.'

Additionally, for some reason of format or whatever, the subtitles didn't show up to translate the Elvish parts of dialogue. We made our own. Or ignored what was going on to bitch about Arwen.

The Elves show up at Helm's Deep.

Cira: Whee, look, here come the gay elves!
Friend's SO: What? Gay Elves?
Cira: Yep, they're all sooo gay!
Friend's SO: Hehe, it's Christopher Street Day!
Friend (comments Haldir): Wow, you're right, he really is gay! (when Aragorn embraces Haldir): Go on, kiss him!
Cira: He only kisses Legolas.

A little later, Aragorn strides along the wall and instructs the Elven archers. He's shouting, all Leader of Man, and we don't have subtitles. Suddenly, my friend starts laughing and submits a translation of Aragorn's words: 'I'm going to fuck everyone who survives!'
Friend's SO: Elf Orgy!

I'm kind of proud to have converted these two firm heterosexuals to the Slash Way of Thinking. :D